women raising a glass together

why surrounding yourself with the right people matters?

If you’re a woman running your own business, you’ll understand the important role that community has to play in success. Ensuring you surround yourself with the right people, the one’s who are going to encourage and support you on your journey, is vital for a healthy mindset. Motivational speaker John Rohn once said, ‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’ If that is indeed true, who are those five people for you? Family? Your partner? Friends? Colleagues? Surrounding yourself with the wrong people can have a knock-on effect on your own mindset, often leading to a spiral of negativity and self-doubt. With this in mind, what practical steps can you take to help balance the scales in your favour?

If you're not feeling supported

Have a think about the people closest to you. Are they generally supportive of your plans, ambitions and goals? Or are they critical of what you’re trying to achieve, constantly pointing out the pitfalls and issues with your plans? Do you feel supported and inspired by them? Or do you feel as though their negativity is wearing you down?
It’s important to recognise that the opinions and actions of others can have a negative influence on our mindset and ultimately our actions.
Have you ever spent time around someone who has an accent for example? If so, you might have noticed that you started picking up some of their pronunciations and sayings and incorporating them into your own speech. Now think about spending time with someone who is negative, constantly questioning your ideas and suggesting they might not work, consider how that negative impact on your mindset will start to manifest in your own thoughts and actions over time and the consequences of that could be huge.

it's not always easy

That said, it’s clearly not as simple as just cutting people out of your life when you don’t feel they’re supporting you, particularly if it’s close family members such as parents, siblings or even your partner. There are often difficult conversations to be had when you start addressing your concerns and setting clear boundaries around what is/isn’t acceptable to you can be a good place to start. Have a read of my How to set clear boundaries in your business blog post, for more guidance on this issue.

acknowledge and understand

When key people in your life are being a source of negativity it’s important to first acknowledge and then understand that their comments/actions are about what they believe, not you. That’s their story, not yours. Based on their experiences and beliefs. All they’re doing is projecting their own fears, beliefs and insecurities on to you. Now that doesn’t mean that they’re wrong, but wouldn’t it be better to surround yourself with people who are on the same page when it comes to creating your story?

dig deeper

If someone close to you is reacting in a negative way to your plans and goals it’s important to consider what might be driving their negativity and reframe. It’s time to dig a bit deeper and think about what’s really going on underneath. Perhaps they can see how stressed you are and are worried you might be taking on too much? Maybe they’ve got concerns when it comes to managing the family finances and making ends meet? They might even have some personal experience of financial difficulties stemming from their own family history. Talking things through can help you to see each other’s point of view more clearly and understand their motivations. Most people in our lives have good intentions and are trying to look out for us in the best way they know how, but it’s our responsibility to communicate how their comments make us feel e.g. patronised, unsupported, not taken seriously.

be more intentional

Shelley Bosworth hosting women event

One positive action you can take is to start being really intentional about who you’re spending time with and ensure that you’re building people into your network who are supportive of your goals and understand what it is you’re trying to achieve. People who really ‘get’ you.
Community is key here and that’s one of the reasons I’m launching The  Courageous Me Collective a place where women can come together and support each other on their journeys in business and in life.

If you’ve ever attended a networking event where you’ve been surrounded by like-minded women, you probably found yourself leaving energised, inspired and ready to take action and that’s a great example of what surrounding yourself with the right people can do for your mindset. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if you could access that community whenever you needed to? That’s exactly what I’m trying to achieve with the Courageous Me Collective, creating a place where you can find that support and inspiration whenever you need it.

If being part of a community of like-minded, supportive women is something that you need in your life right now, the Courageous Me Collective could be just what you’re looking for! As well as having access to my support, you’ll be part of a community of amazing women in business who really ‘get’ you and will cheer you on and support you on your journey.
If you’d like to find out more about how The Collective works, you can read more here, or drop me an email, I’d love to hear from you!

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